Sirene Beach by GAIA.

In which service issues become a restaurant's undoing.

Inspired by Greek mythology, Sirene by Gaia is a modern-day mermaid, seductive, free, and joyful, living her life to the fullest on the golden sands of Dubai. She is beautiful, alluring and impossible to ignore.¹ Her love of music and her Greek heritage is celebrated, enticing souls on a journey of discovery.

For the record, I initially thought this review was going to be gently placed in the Pinxtos series, as I assumed the experience would be a slightly better-than-average venue at J1.

Unfortunately, gentle reader, during my four-hour stay, I had too many thoughts to share in just one paragraph.

Let us go on a journey, shall we?

On arrival, the J1 Valet 3 stand (there are four across this massive beach set-up) was already heaving at 12:45 PM. The vast team of valet guys (honestly, bless them in this heat) already had a queue wrapped around the area, with no signs of moving or a degree or order. This theme repeats at the reception area of Sirene, which is clearly overwhelmed (never mind t…